Okay. Let’s get real here. I’m getting tired of hearing, “back in the day that just wasn’t something we spoke about.” Or, “You do not speak about those things openly, it’s private.” Or, “It’s normal. It’s just stuff we have to deal with by being a woman.”
STOP. NO. No to all of that. We do not have to be silent about having any mental, emotional, or physical issue. Yes, I am talking about it ALL here ladies. We should talk about it. We deserve to have the ability to reach out and get care for whatever it is that we are dealing with. The most important thing to remember is you are not alone. There are so many of us keeping the silence due to fear of what others may think, the fact that our mom said not to speak about it, or because we are embarrassed.
Oh, let me back track. The things I’m speaking of are things like leaking on yourself, losing control of stool, having pain with sex, prolapse symptoms or things coming out of the vagina, looking at your vagina, saying the word vagina…
First and foremost, I can promise you that you are not the only one dealing with what you are dealing with. Every woman has had some kind of issue, if they say they have not they are lying! From acne, to wrinkles, to other skin problems, to fat being somewhere it shouldn’t be, to terrible menstrual cramps, to problems with hormones, to pain during sex….we all have something. Being a woman is just hard. I know. Trust me, I am one. It is not only hard sometimes physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. We are wired differently from men. Yes, we do have more emotions and we do handle things differently. We want to look nice, we care what others think, we want to feel good in our own skin.
Let’s chat about why you might be afraid. I had mentioned in my most previous post that it is not something you are making up. I do want you to know that, I feel it is important. However, we have to respect and appreciate the fact that sometimes there is a psychological aspect, I would challenge there is always one. I know for me, I was not raised where I spoke to my mother about my vagina, my pelvic floor, or my “girl” issues. I would speak with my sister some, but got very limited advice as far as, “it’s normal,” “it gets worse.” You know, the usual. I was a ballet dancer for most of my life and realized quickly that most every dancer around me had some kind of thing going on, but we did not talk about it unless it was to assure someone that it was normal.
This made me not only afraid, but really cautious about what I spoke about. I did not tell anyone what I was going through. I did not say I was feeling self conscious about my pimples. I did not say I was called fat at school and am now going to try and starve myself so I can lose weight fast. I was thinking it, doing it, but never saying it. Why? I was afraid I’d be judged. Yes, ladies, I admit to it. I did not want to be viewed differently because I was laying out of school “sick” even though it’s because I was vomiting and had extremely painful cramps, or that I got the “stomach bug” even though I really started my period for the first time and it got EVERYWHERE. I was traumatized. I felt like I was the only one who had to go through this.
Going back to the question at the beginning of this blog. Why are we afraid? Because that is what history has allowed to be. We have felt afraid to discuss these things due to fear of what someone might think. Fear due to what someone else may feel because we say it out loud. Ladies, that era is over. It’s time to truly hear we as women roar! Do not be afraid! Let’s talk about our vaginas, they are a part of us!
I have a story. You have a story. We all have stories as women. That’s the Main reason I started this blog. I want to connect with you and your story. I want to hear how you handle things, what you think, how you feel. I want to know what is going on with you. I want to be here for you. I will continue to expose bits of my story as I become more comfortable in my own skin. Give me time, it does take time.