advocate

The Beginning of the Journey!

I want to thank you for being a part of my community and family again and for the support you give by reading each of these for me. 

I want to let you in to my story because my story makes me who I am today... and if you're going to have a pelvic floor physical therapist as a provider, you want to have someone that you can relate with. 

I have a 20 year history of being a dancer. I always wanted to be a professional dancer. I dreamed of it, I could taste it. But at the age of 15 my dreams were crushed by the fact that I (please understand this is extremely difficult to be letting you know) was raped. This traumatic event led me to having urinary incontinence and I would pee my pants any time I danced or I was active. I also had pelvic pain, consistent urinary tract infections, and frequent constipation because I had so much pain.  

These symptoms caused me to be so embarrassed about my condition that I would skip dance practice, I would stop trying out for the harder roles, I was just not able to reach my personal best. I was so embarrassed, I was disgusted, I was overwhelmed, I felt guilty and was so full of shame, I had no positive feelings or things to say about myself. 

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I went until I was about 25 years old (that is 10 years) of dealing with these symptoms. At that point, I was in a doctorate program to become a physical therapist and had no idea pelvic floor physical therapy existed. I went to a clinician and watched how it worked and realized I had a MASSIVE desire to exercise without peeing myself and to have sex without pain, get rid of the pelvic pain all together. I also realized I have a desire to help other women suffering silently. 

I finally went to a healthcare provider, who told me to see a counselor for my "concerns" about pain and leakage. I was observing other pelvic floor physical therapists who would hook their patients up to some machine for 15 minutes. I was running into a road block for my dream of becoming symptoms free.  

Remember how I wanted to help women and help myself? Well, I was being told I'm crazy and it couldn't be done. I was told by other pelvic floor therapists that "this is just how it's done." I felt extremely defeated.  

Next week, I'll have another blog on how this led me finding my own answers and creating the business I have today. Be on the lookout for subject line, "DEFEATED." 

See you next week! 

Love, 

Dr. Kaylee 

My Struggle With Mental Health…

Mental Health Awareness Month

[Literally, I’m Naked] 

I used to lie about it. I’d say to people, I had all of my shit put together. 

I made it seem and look like everything was going well. That I was doing great. 

Everyone looking into my life, thought things were perfect. 

What they didn’t see though? 

I hated my body and had really terrible health habits. 

I hated the way I would think. 

I hated my jealousy, my envy. 

I hated my dreams and goals. 

I drank so I could feel NUMB, everyday. 

I hated my story and my past. I often would think of ending my life just to offload the burden. 

I hated that I had absolutely no true friends because I lied to them. 

I hated myself and was falling into depression. 

You may think this is unbelievable seeing that I am now so peppy and happy. 

I’m not. I struggle daily with keeping my head above water. I can promise you that. 

I consistently find myself drowning in self doubt, fear, and sabotaging what I have. 

I never feel good enough.  

I feel inadequate.  

I have at least 2 anxiety attacks a week. They did not go away. 

So, what is it that is different? 

My coping strategies.  

I’ve learned that everything starts with self love.  

I had to learn how to love myself, even my flaws. 

I’m here, naked, literally, telling you that your flaws are fucking beautiful. 

My body is beautiful. I feed it and cherish it. 

My thoughts are perfect and justified, regardless of if they are not positive. 

I still find myself in envy occasionally but I am able to remind myself of all the wonderful things I have going for ME. 

I have MASSIVE dreams and goals that I never thought possible. 

I drink socially, occasionally. 

I OWN my story. My past. Because that is how you get me today. And I LOVE living. 

I have a tribe who supports everything I do and a husband that supports me with anything. 

But most importantly. 

I love myself. I love who I am. Who I am becoming.  

I am still anxiety. I am still envy. I am still guilt. I am still shame. 

But I’m also overcoming.  

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Reach out to someone <3