It’s been some time since I’ve given you all something written to read!! I have been going in and out of the Vlog world because I Love to do videos. I love to be a presence in front of the camera. But. I felt this one was more for those of you who can grab a mug of coffee, sit down, and read through it. Shaking your head, agreeing, disagreeing, etc. I am excited about what I’m going to write about today, so hopefully you enjoy it too.
I’ve taken a lot of time to figure out what I truly want in life. Who do I want to be. Who do I want to serve. And, I’ve finally gotten it down pat.
I want to serve women aged 25-35 who are suffering from not only physical impairments, but mental and emotional impairments as well. This includes but is not limited to:
Pelvic floor dysfunctions
Low back pain
women wanting to get back into exercise
women who have experienced domestic violence
women with PTSD who cannot control their stress and anxiety from it
women who are emotional bound to what has happened to them
women who cannot get rid of the fear to continue
Why you might ask? Other than pregnancy, I’ve experienced all of these things. I’ve been there, been through it. I’ve even posted my story below for you to sift through. I’m consistently writing them and trying to get the nerve to post them. So, my mission?
To allow women a place to get education on pelvic health, mental health, and emotional healing. To allow education, experts, and options to become a whole woman again. To allow a platform where you can ask your questions and be completely honest, while getting honest feedback.
My vision? To help 1000 women.
My Goals? Time freedom. Financial freedom. PEACE knowing I’ve utilized my SKILLS to allow my PASSION to win.
I love you all, and I’m so very excited. I’d love your feedback!
THE 2 WOMEN YOU BARELY KNOW
I was “her.” I was that girl silently suffering from the abuse someone took upon me, to satisfy his selfish, unjustifiable pleasures. I was the one in the corner without a soul, without a plan, without hope. I was her and still am…
Except, I’m not. I’m over that. Well, I’m getting over that, and I’m talking about it because both parts of me, deserve that. My patients deserve that. My loving spouse. My supportive family, friends, and colleagues ALL deserve that…the me that I love, value, and righteously belong to today.
Once upon a time I was the girl laying in the dark. Tears streaming down my face feeling as if I would never be loved. I would never find anyone to love me and my baggage. I was a hidden punching bag to release some of the fury and hatred the one who “loved” me had. I had to hide the fear, pain, hurt, rejection, and bruises to limit how much I needed to talk about it.
“I am never good enough.”
“I am never loved by the right man.”
“I am an object, a trophy of some sort, a notch added on the door frame.”
…the affirmations I internally screamed, daily..which in turn perpetuated my drive for perfection.
But I can’t anymore. I can’t do that and believe these things, AND simultaneously grow happier.
I felt alone for so long, alone through the struggles. Alone with feeling as if I’ve failed my family by not being who they need.
Failing by not being the one to prevent someone so dear to me from falling off the deep end.
Failing by not being an athlete or the best at everything.
Failing because I fled out of selfishness.
That’s what I have so recently seen myself as. Selfish. But when I truly dig deep and try to ponder my decisions I realize it is selflessness not selfishness that has driven me to my decisions, and simply saying that out loud makes it a stronger reality.
Selflessness due to the fact I am now actually speaking about my rape.
Selflessness due to the fact I am now exposing that I’ve struggled with different addictions.
Selflessness due to the fact I am now exposing that I’ve never felt liked or that in order to fit in, I persuasively lied my way through my teenage years.
Selflessness due to the fact that I moved in order to make a legacy for myself, a legacy for my family name, a legacy for my married name.
Re-writing my identity, (shedding the woman I created in order to cope with the shame and guilt thrust upon me), has not been easy. But, I am committing to it. I’m working on my real identity. The powerful, strong, beautiful, giving, and overwhelmingly accomplished woman.
The PROUD woman.
Here I am, world. I suppose the world never expects my past to make me more powerful. It wants to break me. And more than I care to admit, it has. I’ve been at rock bottom. But I’m overcoming that now.
I’m here. Selfless. Naked. But I’m no longer afraid. I’m not alone. I feel a fire inside of me ready to ignite. Ready to burst. Ready to run with whatever it is I feel inclined to run with.
I’m here, Where are you?