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My MISSION, VISION, and GOALS

It’s been some time since I’ve given you all something written to read!! I have been going in and out of the Vlog world because I Love to do videos. I love to be a presence in front of the camera. But. I felt this one was more for those of you who can grab a mug of coffee, sit down, and read through it. Shaking your head, agreeing, disagreeing, etc. I am excited about what I’m going to write about today, so hopefully you enjoy it too.
I’ve taken a lot of time to figure out what I truly want in life. Who do I want to be. Who do I want to serve. And, I’ve finally gotten it down pat.
I want to serve women aged 25-35 who are suffering from not only physical impairments, but mental and emotional impairments as well. This includes but is not limited to:

  • Pelvic floor dysfunctions

  • Low back pain

  • Hip pain

  • Before pregnancy

  • during pregnancy

  • after pregnancy

  • athlete

  • women wanting to get back into exercise

  • women who have experienced domestic violence

  • rape victims

  • women with PTSD who cannot control their stress and anxiety from it

  • women who are emotional bound to what has happened to them

  • women who cannot get rid of the fear to continue

Why you might ask? Other than pregnancy, I’ve experienced all of these things. I’ve been there, been through it. I’ve even posted my story below for you to sift through. I’m consistently writing them and trying to get the nerve to post them. So, my mission?
To allow women a place to get education on pelvic health, mental health, and emotional healing. To allow education, experts, and options to become a whole woman again. To allow a platform where you can ask your questions and be completely honest, while getting honest feedback.
My vision? To help 1000 women.
My Goals? Time freedom. Financial freedom. PEACE knowing I’ve utilized my SKILLS to allow my PASSION to win.
I love you all, and I’m so very excited. I’d love your feedback!
<3<3<3<3
THE 2 WOMEN YOU BARELY KNOW
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I was “her.” I was that girl silently suffering from the abuse someone took upon me, to satisfy his selfish, unjustifiable pleasures. I was the one in the corner without a soul, without a plan, without hope. I was her and still am…
Except, I’m not. I’m over that. Well, I’m getting over that, and I’m talking about it because both parts of me, deserve that. My patients deserve that. My loving spouse. My supportive family, friends, and colleagues ALL deserve that…the me that I love, value, and righteously belong to today.
Once upon a time I was the girl laying in the dark. Tears streaming down my face feeling as if I would never be loved. I would never find anyone to love me and my baggage. I was a hidden punching bag to release some of the fury and hatred the one who “loved” me had. I had to hide the fear, pain, hurt, rejection, and bruises to limit how much I needed to talk about it.
“I am never good enough.”
“I am never loved by the right man.”
“I am an object, a trophy of some sort, a notch added on the door frame.”
…the affirmations I internally screamed, daily..which in turn perpetuated my drive for perfection.
But I can’t anymore. I can’t do that and believe these things, AND simultaneously grow happier.
I felt alone for so long, alone through the struggles. Alone with feeling as if I’ve failed my family by not being who they need.
Failing by not being the one to prevent someone so dear to me from falling off the deep end.
Failing by not being an athlete or the best at everything.
Failing because I fled out of selfishness.
That’s what I have so recently seen myself as. Selfish. But when I truly dig deep and try to ponder my decisions I realize it is selflessness not selfishness that has driven me to my decisions, and simply saying that out loud makes it a stronger reality.
Selflessness due to the fact I am now actually speaking about my rape.
Selflessness due to the fact I am now exposing that I’ve struggled with different addictions.
Selflessness due to the fact I am now exposing that I’ve never felt liked or that in order to fit in, I persuasively lied my way through my teenage years.
Selflessness due to the fact that I moved in order to make a legacy for myself, a legacy for my family name, a legacy for my married name.
Re-writing my identity, (shedding the woman I created in order to cope with the shame and guilt thrust upon me), has not been easy. But, I am committing to it. I’m working on my real identity. The powerful, strong, beautiful, giving, and overwhelmingly accomplished woman.
The PROUD woman.
Here I am, world. I suppose the world never expects my past to make me more powerful. It wants to break me. And more than I care to admit, it has. I’ve been at rock bottom. But I’m overcoming that now.
I’m here. Selfless. Naked. But I’m no longer afraid. I’m not alone. I feel a fire inside of me ready to ignite. Ready to burst. Ready to run with whatever it is I feel inclined to run with.
I’m here, Where are you?


Learn to Relax and Listen!

Sometimes we go, go, go and never rest. We do not take the time to relax or spend time with ourselves. We push ourselves to the limit and assume being busy is what success is. We assume we always have to exercise and build strength and endurance and ignore the relaxation portion. The only way to be fit and healthy is to work out all the time and eat really good foods, right? It has absolutely nothing to do with finding yourself and working on your mindset, or learning to allow relaxation in your body. I challenge that.
Relaxation is just as important to your mindset, your happiness, your life, and your recovery as performing an exercise program. If you do not learn to SLOW DOWN and LISTEN to what your body is telling you, you are going to go too far and then it will be too later. Let me put this into perspective for you.
Scenario: You have recently had your very first baby!! It has been about 8 weeks after having the baby and you and your significant other have a night alone. You try to be intimate and realize it is painful. You follow through assuming it is normal because your group of friends all talk about how sex is never the same and it is painful after giving birth. You then start to feel pressure in your lower abdomen with standing and moving around and when you go to the bathroom you feel something that should not be there. You are afraid to look, but it goes back when you are finished going, so that’s normal, right? What now? The reasoning I hear from patients:

  • I did not know it was not normal.

  • I did not know anyone would be able to help me.

  • I thought I just needed to workout more.

The problem I have with the above is they NEVER LOOK and see what is going on! I’ve not had one patient come in and tell me they looked and saw this, or looked and saw that. I get them coming in after having a doctor tell them they have prolapse and it’s normal to have pain but try PT just in case.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT PICTURE?!?!

PAIN WITH SEX IS NOT NORMAL. I DON’T CARE HOW MANY KIDS YOU’VE HAD. 

There are several things we can go into here, but my post this week will be on trigger points throughout the vagina so make sure you tune back in and I will have another coming about prolapse. But today’s post is really about this:

IF YOU DO NOT TAKE THE TIME TO LEARN ABOUT YOUR BODY BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER PREGNANCY HOW WILL YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR NORMAL IS AND HOW WILL YOU KNOW WHEN SOMETHING IS WRONG?

And, please do not hear what I’m not saying. You do not have to be pregnant or have been pregnant to have the above issues. Actually, what I’m talking about today is directed to ALL WOMEN.
My point for today is that we need to learn to sit back, chill, and listen. Stress can be held in the muscles in your vagina which can contribute to pain during intercourse and other impairments. You also want to take into account that exercising (aka Kegels) your pelvic floor muscles is NOT FOR EVERYONE (again, another post coming soon). How many of you work out all the time but do not pay attention to your relaxation or flexibility throughout the pelvic floor? I know I didn’t, until I had pain with sex. Now, I do.
It is just as important. So, first and foremost we have to learn how to breathe properly. I have posted a video below of myself, on my YouTube channel (be sure to subscribe!) for you to see how I recommend you begin this. Use it as an exercise with ANY impairment. With anything you may be dealing with: stress, anxiety, pain, insomnia, etc. Breathing with your diaphragm has been shown to have a tremendous amount of positive effect.

Secondly what I want you to focus on is meditation. I want you to consider doing meditation and FOCUSING on what is going on. In our scenario above it would be:

  • what exactly am I feeling

  • how does this make me feel

  • how is my body reacting

  • how is this affecting my relationships and ability to function

  • how do i get help

Meditation is POWERFUL and will give you a free mind to improve everything you are going through. You just have to start. You have to do it!
Calm App for Meditation- FREE
I also want you to focus on STOPPING and TAKING A BREATHE. When things are busy, overwhelming, stressful, etc. Just start by breathing. Do your best not to let anything get you down. Spend time with yourself and breathe it out. If you do, your body naturally slows down what is happening and you will feel more energized and more able to handle the situation.
Lastly, I have attached another video from my YouTube channel on stretches I recommend specific for pelvic floor impairment. Remember: these are not for everyone and you should get a consult prior to trying if you are concerned. I have found these are my favorite and most effective for my patients.

Ignore the mess in my house, and the weird noise because I’m in an empty room, we are still in the process of unpacking!!!
In case you missed it, the moral of this blog is to: Slow down, pay attention to your body, and listen to it. If you need rest, then rest. If you need fruit, then eat fruit. If you need sleep, then sleep. Let’s stop lying to ourselves and pretending we can do everything effectively. It’s not possible and we all know it.
Take time to relax, breathe, meditate, and stretch. It’s CRUCIAL!
<3<3<3<3

7th day is killing me

Today was odd. I had an off morning. Required a lot of mindset training. Had a tough day. But you know what? I’m so blessed to be where I am. Everything I have is someone else’s dream even if it is not my own dream. So the killing me part of the title is most describing my frustration with having a more negative day vs my normal. If you hop over to my Facebook page you will hear my story today.
Exercise today was focused toward stability. I did the workout with a patient actually. Ot consisted of the following:

  • Brid dogs on a foam pad with a 2 pound weight in my hands…x20

  • Wall squats with a ball…x30

  • Standing hip kicks all 4 directions with a blue resistance band…x30 each direction and each leg

  • Standing single leg balance on a foam pad 3 times 30 seconds each leg

  • Monster walks all direction with resistance band around my knees x 2 laps

I was not terribly sore or fatigued however I did feel weakness in those small muscles. I need to work them more often.
For recipe:
I made this up with what I had :

  • Gluten free pasta

  • Kale

  • Frozen peas

  • Can of tomatoes

I made the pasta. Mixed the veggies in some garlic and put the veggies on the pasta. Quite good actually. I was surprised!!
Remember your day is what you make it. Don’t waste it!