Stop Laughing at Your Vulva!

Nov 17, 2019

Well, you’re laughing so it must not be important... 

I can’t tell you how many of my clients come in and say they told their partner what was going on “down there” and their partner laughed... 

This blog is for those of you suffering and for those of you who are in a relationship with someone who is suffering...  

I want you to first know that you are not alone. There are SO MANY women (I'm not ignoring the men here, but I do treat women so I'm sticking to my niche) who suffer from embarrassing issues down there. These issues can range from: 

  • Changes in discharge 
  • Increased odor 
  • Lubrication vs lack of lubrication 
  • Pelvic pain with touch and/or sex 
  • Pubic bone pain 
  • Tightness in the hips not allowing certain sexual positions 
  • Increased stress and anxiety inhibiting ability to focus on sex or get in the mood 

And SOOOOO many more.... the issue comes to: we go through it alone. 

Let me tell you a bit about myself and my story. I have shared my "past” story and discussed with you how I came to have pelvic floor dysfunction. I may not have shared exactly what that looked like... 

Pain with sex Is something that can ruin a relationship. Or make you resentful to it. I Hated my boyfriends who wanted to have sex. I wanted a relationship that I could be in without sex. I didn’t want to have sex. All I could do during sex was cry and look away. I’d have flashbacks, clinch the sheets, and just try to go to another place... I was never able to enjoy it... 

I always took a shower after just to cry. I was a silent sufferer for years. My now husband, bless his heart, didn’t know until last year. I never wanted to disappoint him or make him feel like this meant I didn’t love him. So, I just never spoke. And now I am wondering.... how many women do this? Am I the only one? 

Not just that.... but how many are being laughed at or told it’s not that big of a deal? I can’t tell you how many people come into my office and report.... “I told him it hurt and he said something like I’ll be done soon... or let’s try another position..” 

When the hell did it become okay to ignore a woman who is reporting pain? Or that it’s okay to brush it off when she tells the doctor she isn’t feeling right? Or that having a baby just makes you tired? Or that the pain with sex is just from your head?  

I know I’m ranting here but it’s because I was told it was in my head... I was told it would just go away... but guess what? It didn’t... and neither does it just go away for my clients.  

I’m here to say this is exactly why I’m here. I’m advocating for the woman who feels alone, the woman who feels like nobody is here for her, the one who stays silent because she does not know how to or what to say.  

I’m here to empower you. To advocate for you. To tell you some of us are here just to give you a safe space. 

No matter what’s happening. How it makes you feel. Who laughs at you. Who tells you it can’t change. Who tells you that you’re making it up.  

There are people out here to help you.  

I accept you.  

I love you.  

You deserve the best.  


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