My Struggle With Mental Health…

Mental Health Awareness Month

[Literally, I’m Naked] 

I used to lie about it. I’d say to people, I had all of my shit put together. 

I made it seem and look like everything was going well. That I was doing great. 

Everyone looking into my life, thought things were perfect. 

What they didn’t see though? 

I hated my body and had really terrible health habits. 

I hated the way I would think. 

I hated my jealousy, my envy. 

I hated my dreams and goals. 

I drank so I could feel NUMB, everyday. 

I hated my story and my past. I often would think of ending my life just to offload the burden. 

I hated that I had absolutely no true friends because I lied to them. 

I hated myself and was falling into depression. 

You may think this is unbelievable seeing that I am now so peppy and happy. 

I’m not. I struggle daily with keeping my head above water. I can promise you that. 

I consistently find myself drowning in self doubt, fear, and sabotaging what I have. 

I never feel good enough.  

I feel inadequate.  

I have at least 2 anxiety attacks a week. They did not go away. 

So, what is it that is different? 

My coping strategies.  

I’ve learned that everything starts with self love.  

I had to learn how to love myself, even my flaws. 

I’m here, naked, literally, telling you that your flaws are fucking beautiful. 

My body is beautiful. I feed it and cherish it. 

My thoughts are perfect and justified, regardless of if they are not positive. 

I still find myself in envy occasionally but I am able to remind myself of all the wonderful things I have going for ME. 

I have MASSIVE dreams and goals that I never thought possible. 

I drink socially, occasionally. 

I OWN my story. My past. Because that is how you get me today. And I LOVE living. 

I have a tribe who supports everything I do and a husband that supports me with anything. 

But most importantly. 

I love myself. I love who I am. Who I am becoming.  

I am still anxiety. I am still envy. I am still guilt. I am still shame. 

But I’m also overcoming.  

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Reach out to someone <3  

What do you feel about yourself?

I have had a rough week when it comes to discussions with my clients. I keep hearing some very common themes…

“I want my pre-baby body back. I hate my new one.”

“Why can’t my body just go back to how it used to be?”

“My boobs are sagging from breast feeding and I feel like I’m not pretty anymore.”

“I hate my stretch marks.”

“I don’t feel attractive anymore and I don’t think my husband sees me as attractive anymore.”

Ladies! Let’s stop self-sabotaging ourselves and realize the fact that each and every one of you are beautiful. You are beautiful and most of you have brought LIFE into this world. What a miracle. That is something to be proud of. Not frustrated with the way you look, that doesn’t even make sense.

Your husband/spouse helped you create this miracle, so you should open up to them about how you are feeling and see how they react. I believe this process begins with you. Just like with anything, if you allow yourself, you will self sabotage everything you have.

If you let yourself, you will talk yourself into a negative self talk winding road with many thorns on the bush.

Please consider doing an exercise where you truly sit back, write out all the stories you tell yourself.

ALL of them. Including stories about : finances, appearance, weight, body image, intelligence, etc. You will be surprised what you come up with…